Bad School Behavior

Dear Melissa,

My 8-year-old had a lot of problems at school this year. He was impulsive, interrupted often, did not follow directions, and was often defiant with the teachers. He was frequently sent to the principal's office. The school called me 3 times during the last month of school to come pick him up. HELP! I really don't want to repeat this all over again next school year.

It sounds like it was really a difficult year for your child, you and likely your child's teachers as well. In my recent "Naughty - Bad - Misbehaving" Post, I stand firm that there are no bad kids! Rather, we must get to the root of the problem, take a closer look and see what is causing the bad behaviors.

Investigate

Investigate what may be causing the problems. If school is on break because of summer vacation, observe whether the behaviors are still present at summer camps, vacation bible school, etc. Be prepared for the upcoming school year. Have a classroom observer ready to investigate. Regardless of the setting, it is better if the observer is someone other than a parent because children often behave quite differently when Mom or Dad are nearby. When the next school year starts, don't wait. Talk to the school and see if a counselor or school psychologist might be available to observe. Things to look for include:

• Too much noise
• Disorganized space
• Other kids in his personal space
• Other kids “picking” on him

Identify missing splinter skills

Over the years, I have seen over and over again that splinter skills are the root of bad behaviors. On a monthly basis a child is referred to me for “bad” behavior at school. I complete fine motor testing and determine that the child has significant delays in writing skills (and SO much of the school day is spent writing!). In addition, while I am testing, I see a very willing child misinterpreting my verbal directions. For example, I may say “sort” the cards, and he begins to “shuffle” the cards.  I say “stand” on the bench, and the child “sits” on the bench. When I repeat myself or correct the child, he is often confused. Poor guy!  He is trying, but he is not properly interpreting my words. This is where speech therapy can greatly help as well. The most common splinter skills I see missing include:

• Social immaturity
• Emotional immaturity
• Inattention
• Impulsivity
• Decreased expressive/receptive language skills
• Decreased handwriting skills
• Decreased self-help skills
• Poor motor planning skills
• Sensory processing disorders

If these splinter skills are not addressed, all of the behavior modification skills in the world will be completely ineffective. As I have mentioned in the past, most children would rather be viewed as bad than stupid! The good news is that summer is a great time to target splinter skills (though this can be done any time of year). Talk to your pediatrician about your concerns. They may give you a referral for an Occupational Therapy and Speech Therapy evaluation. This is a great way to investigate the possibility of splinter skills. 

Set a behavior plan

This is where you can take proactive steps to address behavior concerns. Given all that you learn from taking a closer look at what has caused your child's misbehavior, be prepared to talk to your child’s teacher and principal when the new school year begins. Set up a meeting and create a behavior plan to meet your child’s needs. If your child works with an occupational therapist, speech therapist, behavior therapist, or psychologist, then they can assist with this process as well. If you don’t have these professionals for support, you can also ask for the assistance of Arkansas Support Network at this behavior meeting. They are a wonderful free service here in Northwest Arkansas which helps out families of children with various special needs. They can not only help you navigate the school process, but other services as well. 

Several components of a good behavior plan include:

• A developmentally appropriate workload
• Frequent breaks (It is great if these breaks involve physical exercise which will also help address attention, motor planning, and sensory processing skills)
• Clear-cut expectations and consequences (consequences that do NOT involve calling the parents to pick up a child from school, except for the most extreme situations)

If this is still not working, then assemble the village! Gather parents, grandparents, occupational therapists, speech therapists, teachers, principals, psychologists, behavioral therapists, and anyone else who knows your child well, and create a new plan. As I said at the start, there are no bad kids...only kids that need extra help. 

How have you worked with your child’s school to create a plan that worked?  What worked for you and your school? What did NOT work? Again, it takes a village! Please share your ideas!

Resources:

Aggressive Behaviors, Healthychildren.org, (accessed Feb 2015)
Arkansas Support Network, a local Northwest Arkansas support agency  
Children's Therapy TEAM, provides occupational therapy, speech therapy, physical therapy and developmental therapy to families in Northwest Arkansas

The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children, Ross W. Greene, (2014) 

The Out of Sync Child: Recognizing and Coping with Sensory Processing Disorder, Carol Kranowitz, (2006)

The Sensory Sensitive Child: Practical Solutions for Out of Bounds Behavior, Karen A. Smith and Karen R. Gouze, (2005)