This week, instead of answering a parent’s question, I decided to create a public service announcement about a topic that is currently all over my Facebook page. "The Word."
What was once referred to as the R-word is currently now more appropriately referred to as a “cognitive impairment” or an “intellectual disability”.
In the month of March, many parents and friends of individuals with intellectual disabilities are “spreading the word to end theword”. I have seen many comments on social media from parents and family members of individuals with intellectual disabilities, stating how the R-word is hurtful and puts a stigmatized label on their child. And they certainly have a point. All children have strengths and weaknesses, and using this word in a derogatory manner is insensitive, mean, and inappropriate.
Some people make the somewhat valid comment that it is just a word. And how many words are we going to keep adding to the long list of politically incorrect words? In response to this, I say that if a parent of a child with special needs – who is already struggling with the added pressures and medical challenges that this adds, on top of the already difficult and daunting task of raising a child – if this parent asks you to not use this word, shouldn’t you just say, “Ok?"
How do we end the use of the R-word?
I have many therapist friends who would never use the R-word. But I also have many friends who are well educated, well-meaning engineers, accountants, scientists, lawyers, etc., who still use the R-word. I honestly don’t think they know that it is hurtful. So besides not using this word ourselves, how do we “spread the word to end the R-word?”
The Mighty is a lovely resource that I follow regularly on Facebook to see what parents of children with disabilities are talking about across the nation and around the world. They recently had an article titled “22 Respectful Ways to Respond When Someone Uses the R-word." While I am glad it is out there, most of the 22 responses seemed a bit long-winded and not really appropriate for when I am having a casual dinner with friends, and want to gently inform without preaching. So, please, go look at the ideas that The Mighty collected, but I modified a couple of these ideas and added a couple of my own to create a shorter list here:
- Don’t you mean _____? (silly, foolish, absurd, annoying, pointless, etc.)
- Um… Did you realize that the R-word is kinda the new N-word? Yes, people used to use it without thinking, but now people consider it very hurtful and offensive.
- Wow...That word went out in the 80’s, along with New Kids on the Block!
- Lets substitute the word "ridiculous" for that R-word.
- I’m pretty sure the appropriate label for that is “intellectual disability” (for when a person is truly talking about a disability and not randomly throwing around the R-word to be hurtful).
Want to read more on how to “Spread the Word to End the Word,” follow the links below:
Shaklee, E., 6 Arguments for Using the ‘R’ Word…and 6 Reasons Those Arguments Make No Sense, The Mighty, (September 24, 2014).
22 Respectful Ways to Respond When Someone Uses the R-word, The Mighty, (February 19, 2016).
Spread the Word to Stop the Word Campaign, Special Olympics of Northern California
Fighting the R-Word Worldwide, Special Olympics International
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