Dear Melissa,
My daughter will start
Kindergarten in a few weeks and she seems a bit anxious about it. Do you have any tips for making this
transition easier?
The big day is coming. Your
little one is beginning “real school.” Apart from starting college, this is
probably the biggest school transition your child (and you) will face. Even if
your child has previously been in a preschool or daycare setting, there can be
much anxiety about the first day of school. Here are a few tips to ease some of those butterflies.
Pretend Play
Use dolls, puppets, drawings, and plays to help act out what kindergarten will look and feel like. This has
a fantastic two-fold benefit. First, it helps your child to know what to expect. Second,
pretend play can help to show you, the parent, what fears your child may have
about making this big transition.
Visit the School/Teacher
Many schools have “back to
school nights” where your child can meet the teacher, see the classroom, and become
more comfortable with their new school setting. You can also go and play on the
playground at the new school in the weeks before school starts so that your
child has something familiar to look forward to.
Write a Social Story
A social story is a magical
tool often employed by speech therapists. In a social story, the adult and
child work together to create a story about a situation in which the child is
the main character, and the ending of the story results in the child mastering the
tricky situation. I have included a resource link with tips for writing social
stories at the end of this blog.
Interview a Big Kid
Make a playdate with an
older child in the neighborhood, family friend, sibling, etc. - and take time to
discuss the new school. What does this older child like about this school? What can students do at the school that is
not available at home or preschool? Focus on questions that reinforce the positive,
fantastic “big kid” benefits of the new setting.
Read Books
Your local library will have
dozens of books on starting at a new school and many specifically about starting
kindergarten. Have your child pick out a few, and then cuddle up to read! This will help greatly with shaping expectations, raising the comfort level of your child.
Talk Time
Try to focus on the positive
as much as possible, but certainly don’t close the door on your child
expressing her fears. Allow her plenty of time and encouragement to talk about
this transition. Use leading questions such as: “What do you think?” or “How do
you feel?” For example, say “What do you think will be the best part?”, not "Tell
me what you are afraid of.” If you sense apprehension, you can delve in further
and definitely validate her concerns when appropriate. But it does NO good to plant
negative ideas into her head by asking “Are you afraid you won’t make any
friends?” when she was actually excited about meeting her new classmates. Focus
on your child’s concerns, not your concerns. Sending off “your baby” (whether
it’s your oldest, youngest, or somewhere in between) can be tricky for moms and
dads. Many parents feel sad and
apprehensive about letting their little ones go to a “big kid school”. However,
I personally think that these feelings are best discussed with your family and
friends, NOT in front of your child. We want our children to feel confident and
excited about school, not guilty that they are making their parents sad.
Consider Special Needs
Kindergarten teachers are especially trained to accept a wide variety of abilities into the classroom and
take it in stride. However, if your
child has already been identified as having a special need or is currently in
therapy for a developmental delay, it can be in the child’s best interest
to let the school know ahead of time. If you think your child will need special
interventions in kindergarten, and she does NOT have an IEP (Individual
Educational Plan), it is helpful to contact the school before school starts (or even better, before the beginning of summer break). If you need help setting up school services for your child, talk to your
child’s therapist(s) or contact Arkansas Support Network (link below) for
additional assistance.
So load up those brightly colored
crayons in the backpack and pick out the coolest lunchbox, because we are off
to school!
What did you do when your
“baby” went off to kindergarten to help ease the transition? Please share!
Resources:
How to Write a Social Story, Vanderbilt Kennedy Center, accessed July 2015
12 Ways to Help a Child Make the Transition to
Kindergarten, Anne Densmore, Harvard Health Publications, Harvard Medical School (2013), accessed July
2015
How to Help Your Child with Special Needs Transition from Preschool to Kindergarten, Christina Vercelletto, NY Metro Parents (2015),
accessed July 2015
Arkansas Support Network, 479-927-4100
